THE THIRD PARTY COMPLIMENT 
Sunday, June 21, 2009, 06:01 PM
Posted by Administrator
I believe I have previously written about the third party compliment...but...it bears repeating. The concept of the third party compliment is courtesy of Ralph...my instructor for my first trip to Burroughs sales school...Southfield, Michigan...maybe...1976...maybe 1977.

Here is the idea:

"Sally told me that she thinks you smart."

If I told you that I thought you were smart...you would likely think that I was just saying that to get something from you or to ingratiate myself to you. But, I'm just telling you what Sally told me. And, since you weren't around, Sally wasn't telling me because she wanted to get on your good side..Sally never thought for one second that I was going to tell you what she said...so, Sally could only have been telling me that you were smart for one reason: because she thought you were smart. ...

And not only did Sally think you were smart but she thinks so much of you that she wanted to tell me that she thought you were smart. You weren't even there at the time so...even when you weren't around it was on Sally's mind that you were smart.

And I think so much of you that I talked about it with Sally and remembered what she told me and took the trouble to tell you.

So, not only are you smart...and you can be sure that nobody is just making that up...but you are such a great person that me and Sally say good things about you when you aren't around and I make it a point to remember the discussion about you and to tell you what Sally said when you and I run into each other. You just are great!

You are going to like Sally even more than you did before....
You are going to even sort of start to like me.

"I like your tie." is a crap compliment.... But, hearing me tell you "John told me he likes your ties." is like having Christmas in July.

Having written this I must issue this disclaimer:
I have never (to the best of my recollection) ever made up a third party compliment and I never will in the future make up a third party compliment. If I say someone said something about you..they did...go ask them.

On the other hand, if someone does start talking about you...and says something nice...I am going to tell you the next time we run into each other.

Oh, and in the unlikely event the shoe is on the other foot...please do the same for me.
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