Thursday, December 30, 2010, 04:48 PM
Posted by Administrator
Editor's Note: Bob Smith is a retired South Florida lawyer who now lives in Northern Wyoming, next to the Canadian Border. Bob will be spending New Year's Eve in Medicine Hat at the Tim Horton's donuts. Bob says "Would you believe that the Canadian New Years happens at the same time as the real one?"

Bob writes:

As an old man, I offer these ideas for New Year's resolutions. Try them. You'll be happy you did!

1) Don't agonize over your troubles. It's bad for your health. Some study I read somewhere found that people from the mountains of Georgia (the Georgia in Europe that was formerly part of the USSR, not the one with Atlanta in it) lived the longest because they didn't spend much time grieving about bad things in the past...they moved on. The past is, really, unfixable.

2) Remember that while it is bad to drink too much, a little is probably good. If you don't drink at all...GOOD NEWS! is never too late to start (though if you are under 18, it might be too early.) A few years ago, I made a New Year's resolution to start drinking hard liquor again. I am proud to say that I have been able to stick with it.

3) Spend some money. We are capitalists here and capitalism doesn't work if we all keep our money in our pockets. Can't think of anything to buy? Let me know. I'll send you a list along with my address.

4) Quit trusting politicians. They are all bad (except for people like Michael Bloomberg in New York who is a billionaire so at least you know he's not doing it to get rich off of corruption.) You trust Sarah Palin. Admit it. You do. You can't concieve of a middle-aged woman as good looking as her being as bad as all those other know-nothing-Bible-thumping-freedom-limiting-tax & spend-idiots. I am sorry to tell you that you are wrong. She is as bad. Probably worse. Still, next snowmobile race I go to, I'm rooting for her husband, Todd. Hey, I can kinda see Sarah's back yard from my porch so it's almost like we're neighbors.

add comment ( 3 views )   |  0 trackbacks   |   ( 3.1 / 221 )

<Back | 1 | Next> >>