THE UNEMBELLISHED TRUTH 
Tuesday, January 15, 2019, 03:56 PM
Posted by Administrator
The great thing about telling the truth is that once you get the reputation for being that way, people will believe anything you say. There are benefits to being the woman or man who can claim the adult equivalent of "The dog ate my homework." knowing that there will be a universal belief that, without a doubt, there is a pile of shredded up homework at the man or woman's house with a dog standing over it.....probably barfing.

In the legal business, truth telling by lawyers is essential. Twice, recently, I have been in front of a judge I did not know with a lawyer on the other side who also did not know the judge. Both times, the judge began by saying: "I have checked the two of you out." (meaning, "I talked to other judges about you when I saw your names on my docket to find out if you are worth believing.")

As a result of years of truth telling, I am confident that if I one day show up late for court and my claimed reason (excuse) is that I had a flat tire, any local judge worth anything would bet big that if they walked outside and looked at my car....they'd see one of those little temporary spares. And, if I say the other lawyer misrepresented a key fact in the case ("lied"), I assume most judges who I have contact with or who have checked me out would find it hard to believe the other lawyer, ever again.

The key to getting a reputation as a truth teller? Don't lie. Ever. Don't make up stories (probably, if you do, your eyes will involuntarily rotate up and to the left and anybody who is paying attention will doubt what you are saying, anyway. (The imagination area of your brain is (by my understanding) in the top left.) Don't embellish. When you tell the story about how you saved your little brother from drowning in the swimming pool by handing him a pole and pulling them over to the side (the right way to do it, if you have a long enough pole), don't have yourself seeing a bobbing head in the distant swells, jumping into the the ocean and swimming him to safety on the beach as the life guards look at you, awestruck.

Years ago, I went with a friend of mine from the University of Colorado campus in Boulder to Denver General Hospital---about 30 miles to the South. He was in the Pre-Med club and the members had been invited to go to the hospital to watch surgery. One Winter morning, at about 5am, I went with him.

I was watching a thyroid(?) tumor being removed from a man's neck when the medical school student who was doing things like applying suction and cutting sutures, had to go to class. The Charge Nurse (who was the nurse in charge of that OR ) asked me if I wanted to "scrub in". Half an hour of scrubbing later, I got to hold back the fat of a woman who was having her gall bladder removed (the retractor was too small). After that, I cut sutures and did suction for an anal fistulectomy (you may think it's gross so, no details here...look it up).

About a dozen years ago, I went to a surgeon suspecting I had the beginnings of an anal fistula. Because I talk too much, I told him my anal fistulectomy story and, I quickly realized, he thought I was making it up. Okay, in fairness to him....what were the odds that I helped out in an unusual operation only to turn up....30 years later...with the same condition? I felt like an idiot for mentioning it and it was a horrible feeling to tell the story and have the surgeon think I was a liar. (Apparently, it also didn't help that my story involved me cutting sutures and they don't use in that procedure sutures now ...for reasons that, if you are interested, you should look up).

Months later, still having problems, I had the procedure done. When I woke up, the surgeon was standing there, smiling. "You were right.", he said. "About what?", I asked. "It was an anal fistula.", he said. "But, you told me that's what it was." "No,", he replied "you told me, I just thought it might be."

I think this was him telling me that he understood, now, that my story was not made-up b.s. Still, before I first published the story here on the blog (memory can play tricks), I tracked down and called the fellow from the University of Colorado pre-med club. He's a doctor, now, in Wisconsin. He wasn't with me in the operating room but he heard my story as soon as I was done and was jealous that he (the real pre-med student) in a different OR, only got to watch. "Vance", I said when I got him on the phone. "Do you remember my Denver General Hospital story?" "The anal thing.", he said.

Yesterday, I was looking at the website for my hobby/business. I re-read a blog entry on that website (iscootpalmbeach,com)about riding along the water. I said in that entry, more or less: As you ride along on your scooter, you may see a line of pelicans flying off to you left. You'll quickly pass them because your scooter can travel at more than 35mph and pelicans can only fly at about 25mph. But, I wrote, don't laugh at them because they are slow- pelicans can be sensitive. At the end of the entry, there was a link that I did not remember anything about. I clicked on it and was pleased to see that the link was to a scientific study on......the speed of pelicans.

On the other hand, I admit that there was no backup for my assertion that "pelicans can be sensitive". The battle for honesty and non-embellishment is truly never ending.



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